Full Time

Today was my first day of full time at the hospital!  

It was wonderful, pretty much the same, 

but now I have an office and a direct phone number.

I'm so excited to start my career at the hospital and am

so blessed to have the position I do now.  I couldn't be more thankful.

I have been reminded lately about how perfect God's timing is.

In the time I have been at the hospital, I have grown in my 

profession and been able to develop relationships with staff and

families.  I am definitely more mature as a social worker today

than I was even 6 months ago (when I started at the hospital).

Thank God for providing exactly what we need.

And I am so thankful for family and friends who are supportive

and a huge encouragement to me.

Now I'm just praying that my orientation/transition into

the new position area goes smoothly.

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100th Post

This is my much-delayed 100th post.  So much has changed since my last post...

I am still working at CHW, now 4 days a week, but still as an as-needed employee with no benefits or guaranteed hours per week.  This position has kept me busy and it has been wonderful, challenging, humbling, fun, and eye-opening.  I'm still unsure of what opportunities God will open up for me full-time at CHW, but I'm trusting His timing and praying for something to become available soon.

In addition to this, I went to Columbus, OH over Easter this year to visit with my younger brother and I ended up meeting an amazing man named Robert (well, Bert for short).  It was love at first sight...literally.  God has drawn us closer to each other over the past several months and closer to Himself throughout our long distance relationship.  Being apart from Bert has its challenges and struggles, but our relationship is strong and we both believe that this will be worth the wait.  We are visiting each other every 3-4 weeks and hope to live in the same state by May 2012.  Skype dates are also essential to maintaining our connection with each other.  In addition to this, we have grown even closer through doing a couple's devotional together.  I'm really excited to see where God leads us.

Student loans have recently gone into repayment for me.  I'm thankful that they are manageable at this time and am praying for continued discipline in saving money and budgeting properly.  This will be a continued expense over the next several years, so this is just the beginning of the 'JOY' of paying off my debt (not).

I don't think there is anything else to add at this time.  I'll try to be more consistent at posting, but I haven't been very good at this in the past either.  Dear friends, thanks for reading.  I hope you all have a wonderful evening!

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99 blog posts on the wall

This officially marks my 99th blog post ever!  :)

So, it's not really a big deal, but I thought I'd get

excited.

I recently started writing in an actual journal next to my bed.

Due to the ease of access and my newfound discipline, 

I write in the journal more than on my blog.

I think my favorite part of the journal is a section that is titled

"Highlight of the Day".  Every night, as I reflect on the past hours

and after reading my Bible, I write my highlight of the day

to have a clear perspective of how God has been faithful

in my life and how prayers have been answered.

It's a great reminder that each day is new 

and there is always something positive if you look for it.

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So it's been awhile....

Story of my blog.  It's been a while since I wrote last.  And part of me feels really bad about it, but all this means is that life has taken over and I've been too busy to sit down and publish my thoughts.

Between the last post and this, I have started my job back at Children's Hospital and really love it!  I've gotten a good blend of consults that I have handled in the past, and new ones that I had no first-hand experience with.  It's been a great experience falling back into the swing of things.  And the staff I work with has been nothing but encouraging and wonderful.  I said, on Tuesday, that the people you work with can make or break a job - and the people I work with at Children's definitely make the job more enjoyable.  :)

I still hope for full-time employment at Children's, but am trusting that (when the timing is right), God will provide the perfect opportunity.

Per usual, I have been spending a lot of time with friends lately.  Some of the girls I graduated from high school with are still in my area.  We planned to have a Girl's Night every Wednesday to reconnect and make sure we always make time for each other.  Besides that, I am fully taking advantage of not having classes, or homework, or exams to eat up my time.  It's fantastic!

Sadly, however, this means that I end up doing too much during any given week, and am usually left feeling like I need to catch up on sleep and time alone.  Given the choice, though, I'd still rather invest my time in other people and just sleep in a little bit on a Saturday (as I plan to do tomorrow).

So, life for me right now is pretty mellow.  My days consist of work, spending time with friends and my parents, and sleeping.  I can't really complain.  One thing I need to make more time for, however, is spending quiet time with the Lord.  I do have a pretty active prayer life these days, but I have exhausted myself so much that by the time I think about opening up the Bible, I just want to sleep.  My new goal for the month:  develop a schedule that allows me quality time with the Lord each day.  Key word being quality.  I never want to feel "obligated" to spend time with God, but I also know the importance of discipline and dedication to His Word.  Please pray for me as I pursue God during this time.  When things go well in my life, I tend to forget that God orchestrated it all.  When things go poorly, I cling to Christ.  It shouldn't be like that.

Well, I will leave you with that.  And I do hope to write more often (as I always say).  I think that writing in a blog is a good way to express oneself and can be a great way to track life as it happens.  I hope you all have a wonderful night!  I'm going to spend it with my friend, Michelle.  We're going to Panera, to the movie The Adjustment Bureau, and then to The Melting Pot for dessert.  :)  It should be wonderful!

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28 Hours per Week

My supervisor at the Outreach Center and

I have been praying lately about whether the Center's

board of directors would approve bringing me

onto the staff full-time.

This has been quite the topic of conversation lately.

Even prior to graduation, I was being asked about my

plans longer-term with the Center.  I always replied that

"I don't know what the future holds, but I am praying about

where God would have me be long-term.  Right now, I am

thankful for my position and enjoy what I am doing at the Center."

This, I believe, was a good answer to their question....

until the board of directors questioned my commitment to

the Center long-term.  Since I wouldn't give a "straight" answer

about my future at the Outreach Center, the board interpreted my
response as not being committed to the Center at all.

God has a funny way of working things out in the end.

The grant that would have funded my position (back in October)

fell through.  That same week, I received a phone call

that offered me a wonderful position at my "dream" job.

Months have gone by.  I prayed and waited.  Prayed and waited.

Finally, I decided to commit to the Outreach Center.  The board of

directors met to talk with one another about my position and future here.

When they reached a conclusion (based on our resources), they offered

me 28 hours a week. 

God has a funny way of working things out in the end.  I felt a mix of disappointment

and relief.  With this schedule, I am able to pursue the other opportunity

as well as stay at the Center indefinitely.  This is what I had hoped for from day one.
Unfortunately, this schedule also limits the savings I can put together and will not
sustain me long-term.

Now, I sit and wait.  Praying that God would open doors where
I am meant to take opportunities...

and closes doors when I am meant to stay put.

I am so thankful for my position at the Outreach Center. I am thankful for an understanding supervisor who has supported my professional and personal development since day One.  And I am thankful for a God who is always faithful and has my best interest in mind.

I'm hopeful about my future...excited to see how it all fits together.
And I will, of course, keep you posted when I find out.

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End of November

It is now the end of November and I have barely written in my blog.  

Yes, I had midterms, and finals, and papers, but I have neglected the blog yet again.

And so much has happened since the last time I wrote.

On the job front, God has perfectly coordinated my employment from graduation until I find another position.  I can be hired on full-time at the Outreach Center (at least temporarily).  Being a non-profit, funding is always first priority, so we'll see where we are after six months (if I am still there).

Besides the Outreach Center, a position at my "dream job" was offered to me.  I didn't even apply for the position.  But it is perfect and exactly what I was praying about.  God certainly surprises us when we least expect it.  :)

On a different note, I am scheduled for a tonsillectomy on December 20th (the day after graduation).  I was sick earlier this semester and my tonsils were bugging me then.  After seeing a specialist and talking with my parents, I decided to have the surgery to remove my tonsils altogether.  If I left them alone, I would have the same issues the rest of my life (per my doctor's expertise).  

I'm a bit anxious about the surgery.  This is the first time I'm ever having surgery and an IV.  I never had my wisdom teeth out (I have all four in at the moment).  So, I'm a bit nervous, but I'm pretty sure it will be fine.  A tonsillectomy is such a routine procedure, but I think there is always a bit of apprehension with surgery in general, no matter the type.

So, I think that about catches you up for the moment.  Job news.  And surgery news.  

I'm still plugging along until graduation.  I got my cap, gown, and hood in the mail the other day.  I'm excited for December 19th to come...no more schoolwork for the rest of my life (I hope!).  P.S.  In case you noticed, my surgery is THE DAY AFTER my graduation.  I have to be at the hospital at 5:15am.  No celebrating of graduation on the night of the 19th for me!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend and I'll try to post again sooner than last time.  :)

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Tears on Wednesday

Today just felt like one of those days when everything was getting on my nerves.  It was awful.  I got fed up about the smallest things.  And this lasted for about half my day.  

The worst part was that I was at the Outreach Center today, so I was frustrated while I was supposed to be an example of God's love with our clients.  Instead, I was just frustrated with the situations I was handed.  One client showed up 1 1/2 hours late for their appointment and still wanted to be seen.  Another client showed up an hour early and wanted to be seen.  And I just got fed up.  I felt awful.

But, as I worked with both clients and talked with them about our Phoenix Life Skills program, it occurred to me that both clients showed up right on time - it was just God's timing, not mine.

One of the clients I met with told me that he felt a "wonderful spirit" in our Center and that he was really encouraged after our meeting.  This was the same guy that showed up 1 1/2 hours late for his appointment.

After that, my second client showed up an hour early.  She is about to be kicked out of her home and has no place to go with her children.  After speaking with her briefly and telling her that God has a plan for her life and that she was created for a purpose, she broke down.  Just started crying.  She told me that she really needed to hear the words I said, just at that very moment.  

Once all was said and done, I knew that nothing I had said really made a difference.  What happened was that the Lord touched the hearts of the clients we served today.  And that was really encouraging!  It's amazing to be a part of God's work in the city.  Even though I don't know how long I'm supposed to be at the Outreach Center, I appreciate the time I have there now.  No matter where life takes me, I hope to always do work in ministering to others.

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November Wishes

Today, I found myself spending a lot of time in prayer.

Prayer about resting and dwelling in the Lord.

Prayer for my family, who are both mourning and celebrating life circumstances.

Prayer for continued trust in God's plans.

Prayers of praise for who God is.

Prayer for contentment in the present moment.

As I spent time in prayer, I was reminded (once again) at how big our God is.

I am also reminded, and humbled, that God cares enough to listen to my prayers.

Yes, I praise God for who He is and all that He has done.

....For being faithful and loving me.

....For sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to take on all the World's sin and seal our salvation.

....For never leaving my side or going back on His promises.

But many times, I turn to God only in my times of need.

In times when I doubt what His plan is for my life.

When I'm scared about my future, or try to take back control.

In moments when I sin and feel guilty.

I wish I would praise God in all circumstances, consistently.

That I would praise Him, without thinking, in both good times and bad.

So, that is my new mission.

To learn what it looks like to genuinely and sincerely praise the Lord in every moment of every day; regardless of the situation at hand.

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Not quite busy

It's funny how even though my school schedule has been pretty relaxed lately, I still feel busy and haven't posted to this blog.  So many things have happened in this past week that I want to post about, but I haven't found the time to upload pictures and actually write.

Last weekend, our church held an event called Love4Haiti.  We recruited 1,000 volunteers to come and pack 285,000 meals for people in Haiti.  It was an amazing event and very powerful.  Our church partnered with Impact Lives to put on the event.  One of the Impact Lives staff explained to everyone at the event that the food that we send is a matter of life and death.  If the people of Haiti don't get food soon, they will die.  Yikes...what a reality check.  So often, I take for granted the fact that I have a roof over my head and food to eat.

Since the event recruited individuals from all over the community, this was also a neat outreach to people who may not belong to a church or know who Jesus is.  It was great to be part of this awesome event.  I'll post pictures a little later.

On a different note, I called a hospice around here yesterday to inquire about volunteering.  I'm taking a death&dying class (if you've read my blog previously you might have noted that) and I'm interested in seeing what hospice care is like.  To be honest, I'm both excited and terrified.  People in hospice have a prognosis of 6 months or less to live.  On the positive side, I am looking forward to developing relationships with the individuals in hospice and spending time with them.  But, I'm a bit apprehensive of what to say to someone who is dying.  I've never been around a person who is actively dying before and the thought scares me a bit.

My mom asked me why I'm even going to volunteer if I'm scared about what it might entail.  I responded by saying that if I never volunteer and find out what it's actually like for myself, how will I ever know if it is actually a passion of mine?  If I never try to volunteer with people who are dying, the thought will always scare me because I've never had exposure to it.  So, I'm willing to give it a shot with the hope that I'll love it and that I will learn a lot about myself and the people who are at the hospice.

I'll keep you all posted on how that goes.  I have to call the volunteer coordinator back today to find out more information about the program.

I hope you have a wonderful Thursday!  :)  I'm having dinner with a few friends after class tonight and am really excited to see them!  I'll post more later.

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Song of Hope (Heaven Come Down)

All things bright and beautiful You are
All things wise and wonderful You are
In my darkest night, You brighten up the skies
A song will rise

I will sing a song of hope
Sing along
God of heaven come down
Heaven come down
Just to know that You are near is enough
God of heaven come down, heaven come down

All things new
I can start again
Creator, God
Calling me Your friend
Sing praise, my soul
To the Maker of the skies
A song will rise

I will sing a song of hope
Sing along
God of heaven come down
Heaven come down
Just to know You and be loved is enough
God of heaven come down, heaven come down

Hallelujah, sing
Hallelujah, sing
Hallelujah, sing

By Robbie Seay Band.

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Life as I know it

I must admit that I haven't been the most consistent blog-poster lately.  Truth be told, my life has felt a little jumbled lately.  As many of you know from prior posts, I recently started Grad School again (my last semester-I'll probably mention this A LOT) and also picked up my part-time job at TMOC again.

On top of this, I have volunteered more time at my church and am trying to stay in touch with friends despite the craziness of life.

God has been doing a work on me lately too.  We're going through a 4-part series at church called "The Offense of Marriage".  Don't read this wrong- think of Offense as the opposite of Defense, not that marriage is offensive.

Through this series, our pastor has continually commented on the life of a single person in the church and how important it is for us not to feel "empty" because we are not married.  Our purpose in life shouldn't be to find our potential earthly partner, but to honor marriage, serve the Lord, and seek out God's plan for our lives.  I agree with this very much....but even on my best days; those days when I do seek the Lord and spend time with Him, I still feel like something is missing.

Does this mean I'm not as strong a Christian as I thought?  Do I lack the faith that fills my heart, soul, and mind?  Am I searching for something to fill the space that only God can fill?  I'd like to think that these questions are answered with a "No, of course not".  But, then why do I still feel like something is missing?

As I search my own heart and seek the Lord, I hope to uncover why I feel the way I do.  Why I long so much for a husband.  What if I am called to be single?  Would I be fully contented with singleness as my life's calling?  I pray that God opens my eyes to my own failings and fills me with the peace and love that I know only He can provide.  

In the meantime, I will continue to trust in the Lord and His timing.  I want to long for my Heavenly Father more than I long to live...now the question is how to make that a reality for me.  Suggestions?

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Overload

Yet another week of school has come and gone.  I feel a bit overwhelmed already.  I'm taking 10 Graduate school credits (which is probably equivalent to 18+ undergraduate credits).  Full-time for grad school is only 8 credits, afterall.  

This semester does mark the end of my grad school career (I graduate in December!), so I was willing to take on a bit more than normal.  I am praying for God's continued faithfulness and strength throughout this semester as I attack my classes, work, Bible studies, other church involvement, try to have a social life, and continue to put God 1st in my life.  This will be interesting to see how this all unfolds....

That being said, I'm so excited to dive into my last semester, learn more, be challenged, and hope to appreciate my time in school.  This will be my last time in school until:  a) I have children and they attend school, b) I decide to go on for my PhD.- which I don't see happening, or c) I decide to teach a college-level class in social work- which I can do with my Master's.

For now, I relax a bit and rest before taking on my homework assignments later this weekend.  :)

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Distractions

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please forgive me for the times I have gotten so distracted from spending time with You.  I so desire to put You first in my life and seek You in all things, but I am so easily swayed.  Thank you for always drawing me back to Yourself and showing me that You are all I need.  Help me to allow You to penetrate all areas of my life and direct me in the ways You would have for me.  I am enjoying all the time we have spent together recently and pray that I will have enough discipline to keep it up.

In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

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Just what I wanted...(not)

This morning I woke up with this intense feeling of uneasiness.  Lately, I have been on, what I would call, the "right track".  I have been spending quality time with the Lord each day, eating healthier, brushing and flossing (which makes me feel great too), and haven't felt overwhelmed by anything really.  It's been wonderful!

But this morning, I woke up with butterflies in my stomach and feeling like something is missing...I hate this feeling...

Last night I had a vivid dream about the show Chuck, which I love.  The lead actor, Zachary Levi, is a born-again Christian and someone that I admire a lot for his boldness about sharing his faith with others.  He is a great role model and I respect him a lot as an actor.  Due to the aforementioned qualities, I actually have feelings for him...ugh...that sounds SO lame when I write it out.  I've never met him, and I probably never will, but I think he is wonderful and therefore would be completely excited if I ever had the opportunity to talk with him and meet him in person.  So, my almost-24-year-old self feels like an elementary school kid again with a stupid crush on someone I don't even know.

After my dream last night, which involved me really getting to know Zac and sharing with him how much I respect him, I woke up feeling anxious.  As if, in some weird way, I had hoped that my dream was real life and that Zac and I would end up together.  Again, super lame.

I have struggled with similar feelings as I have watched Chuck and gotten to "know" who Zac is in real life.  And I have prayed that God would protect my heart, even from a man I've never met.  But every so often Zac comes into my mind and I can't seem to shake him.  So, I am continuing to pray and am waiting on God's timing for the man that I am actually supposed to be with, if anyone, down the road.

It's just a sucky feeling waking up and feeling anxious about this situation.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, offer your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

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All Paid Off

It feels so good to have all my credit card debt paid off!
I'm not someone with a million credit cards, but it still feels great when their balance(s) are $0.

If I have debt in my life, it prevents me from being able to give as much as I could to the Lord or other people in need.
When I remove the debt, I am better able to serve financially when I feel called to give.

I recently told my younger brother something along the lines of, "What is the point to having money if I won't share it with others and give to those in need?  Yes, it helps me pay bills and sometimes I splurge on this-or-that, but it doesn't bring true joy.  If I can help someone else out, then I will always choose to give my money away.  Being able to help someone else out and give of my resources brings me joy.  It's not like I can take the money with me to Heaven."  And I meant it.

Now, I'm not saying this to make myself out to be some overly-gracious, always giving person; I'm not.  But this is my philosophy about money and other material things...whether I truly live it out every day or not, I do believe that we as people are blessed so we can bless others.

So, as I go on from today and start my part-time job again at TMOC, my goal is to continue to give of myself, my time, my resources, and my finances as much as possible-so I can give the glory to God and help to bless others around me through God's graciousness.  And if someday I am the one in need, I believe that God will provide in those circumstances as well.

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Ryan&Meghan

Yesterday was yet another summer wedding.

This time, for my dear friends Meghan and Ryan.

They have been together since high school and were made to be together.

I honestly believe that God created them to be the perfect complement for one another.  It isn't often that I genuinely feel that way about a couple.  I feel that way about my friends, Alana and Jordan, and I feel that way with Meghan and Ryan.  It is such a blessing to be part of a wedding where you can hear, experience, believe, and witness the love that the couple has for each other...a love that only God can create and perfect in us.

Here are some pictures from the wedding/reception:

The beautiful bride-to-be getting ready before the ceremony.

The husband&wife's first dance as a married couple!

The father-daughter dance.

The bride and I at the reception.

I caught/grabbed the bouquet (in my right hand) and am holding my bridesmaid's bouquet (in my left hand).  I guess I'm getting married soon....

So, as Meghan and Ryan begin their lives together, I pray that God blesses them in their marriage.  They are an absolutely beautiful couple and I am so excited to see where God leads them in their relationship with each other.  Love you both!  :)  Love&Blessings.

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Countdown

It is now the official countdown to the end of my internship at Children's Hospital.

I can't believe it's already been 3 semesters there and that this Wednesday is my last day.

Being a medical social work intern has had its ups and downs; emotionally and physically, but has been an amazing experience.

Here are some things I have most enjoyed about the internship:

1.  Learning about medical diagnoses, terms, procedures, medications, and life in the hospital.
2.  Spending time with my field supervisor, Anissa, almost daily and getting to know her better.
3.  Practicing my skills as a social worker and being viewed as a professional by families and staff in the hospital.
4.  Laughing with coworkers daily.
5.  Playing with the kids and developing bonds with them over the past year.
6.  Carrying around a pager, which made me feel *important*.
7.  Showing up to the internship and knowing each day would be different.
8.  Dealing with crises and situations that most people run from (i.e. talking to a family about code-status or working with a child who is intubated).

The internship has been one-of-a-kind and I have really enjoyed my time at Children's Hospital.  It hasn't quite hit me yet that I'll be done in 2 days...

Maybe after prayer, God will open an opportunity to continue there with a full-time social work position.  Either way, I feel so blessed to have gotten the chance to spend time at the hospital and learn all that I did.  I know that my time there was not wasted and that it served a purpose in my life.  :)

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Courtney&Nick

Saturday, August 7th 2010 marks the (new) wedding anniversary of my friends, Nick and Courtney.

I met both of them at UW-Whitewater while going through undergrad.

I have been blessed to know Courtney throughout the years.

Nick and Courtney are a beautiful couple, who I know will serve the Lord and be faithful both to God and to each other.

It was wonderful celebrating with them on their big day. 

I wish them the best in all the years to come.

I pray that their lives together are filled with love, happiness, laughter, life experiences, and good memories yet to be created.

Love you both!

Courtney and her father walking down the aisle

During the ceremony

I now pronounce you husband and wife! :)

(P.S. Notice the three-fold cord around their wrists from the passage in Ecclesiastes 4:12)

It was great to see friends from college after so long! 

Here are (from left to right):  Rosie, Jen, myself, and Kelly

Me with the beautiful bride.

It was so great to spend the day with everyone. 

God bless your marriage, Courtney and Nick!

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Nature

My favorite part of Spring.  God created such amazing and beautiful things in nature.  I'm always left in awe of how awesome God is when I look at the beauty around me.

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